Top 20 Office Rules

Rule 1. The Boss is always right.

Rule 2. If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

Rule 3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

Rule 4. PhD stands for “Pull Him Down.” The more intelligent, more hardworking, and more committed is a person, the greater is the number of persons engaged in pulling that person down.

Rule 5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

Rule 6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

Rule 7. It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you are going to do.

Rule 8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Rule 9. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

Rule 10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

Rule 11. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Rule 12. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Rule 13. Following the rules will not get the job done.

Rule 14. If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Rule 15. Everything can be filed under “Miscellaneous.”

Rule 16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

Rule 17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work you are supposed to be doing.

Rule 18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

Rule 19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

Rule 20. The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.