I turn nostalgic every time Christmas draws near. I don’t really know why. I guess it’s the Christmassy feeling in the air — the carols playing, lights all around, the decors adorning all facades. It always brings out the child in me. I think it’s because I am always reminded of the happy Christmases of my childhood.

Apart from the Christmas spirit, it is also around this time of the year that I look back with gratitude to the year that is almost about to pass, and thank the Lord for all the blessings that have been showered on me and the trials that have made me a better and stronger person. And it is also during this season that I promise to do better in all aspects of my life: my family, my work, my friendships, and MY SELF — most especially in loving myself.

I’d like to share a nice poem that I came across with.

TAKE SOME TIME

By Leon Hansen

(A 6th Bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul, copyright 1999 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen)

Take some time to smell the flowers

As you walk the paths of life

Take some time to ease the tensions

From the challenges and the strife

Take some time to hear the birds sing

As they usher in the dawn

Though the day may be just emerging

Too soon it will be gone

Take some time to watch a sunrise

Now and then a sunset, too

Just be sure that seeking pleasure

Isn’t all you ever do

Take some time to count your blessings

Though you feel they’re not that great

You will find they’re more abundant

Than you thought, at any rate

Take some time to banish hatred

When and where you can

Just detest man’s evil ways

And not your fellow man

Take some time to love your children

Every moment you are free

The benefits sure exceed

A university degree

Take some time to love your neighbor

And even more important still

Take some time to love yourself

Or not many others will

And if you don’t like that image

Of yourself that others see

Take some time to make some changes

Be the best that you can be

Take some time to help another

Who you think might need a hand

You will find the satisfaction

Leaves you feeling sort of grand

Take some time to live by virtue

In the best way that is known

And respect the rights of others

As equal to your own

Take some time to just appreciate

The fact that you are here

And to know the risen Lord

And to trust Him without fear

If you do these things with diligence

You will eventually be glad

If you don’t attempt to do them

You may one day wish you had

Although this no doubt could impose

Upon your time for seeking wealth

There should be little question

That it could improve your health

And though you might not be as wealthy

Nor drive so fine a car

You’ll find you will be richer

In other ways by far

 Have a wonderful and meaningful day, everyone!

Last Sunday, my Bitter Half, my son Kid Schumacher, and I went to the MANILA AUTO SALON ’08 at the SMX Convention Center at the Mall of Asia.

 My kid had a blast!

 It was our first time to go see a car show, and it was truly fun. The cars ranged from the vintage to the brand new. But each one had been accessorized, modified, and improved — limited only by the owner’s imagination.

 My fave was a black 1959 CHEVY IMPALA — sleek, shiny, sexy. Something you see right off romantic Hollywood movies.

 There were Porsche, Ford Mustang, BMW, Mercedes Benz SLR, and many, many more. Truly amazing!

 The cars had great audio-visual set-ups. Most had ear-blasting sound systems. Others even had LCD TVs set up in the trunks. Imagine!

 Pinoy Fear Factor host Ryan Agoncillo, donning a Yellow Cab crew uniform (most probably his sponsor), even had an entry — his 1997 Mazda.

 For a fee of 30 pesos, Kid Schumacher tried the racing simulator of the Tuason Racing School.

 And boy, there were countless girls gyrating sexily to the music, wooing guys to their booths. It seems the CAR–WOMAN combo is a norm. You know, it’s like saying that a man who has a hot car can have a hot babe, too. Eew!

I’ve been sick for weeks… afflicted with the KATAM virus. It’s the virus that afflicts everybody once in a while — or others probably too often for their own good.

KATAM virus — as in the KATAMaran virus. Haha!

It took Rico-J, as in the husband who actually speaks, to bring me out of my malady, and he coerced (haha!) me to list down six random things that make me happy. Here goes:

• Family. My world revolves around my Bitter Half and my darn lovable son Kid Schumacher. It’s always a comfort to come home to my family after a hard day’s work, eat dinner together, share how our day went by, watch our favorite TV shows, eat post-dinner snack (uh, oh… there goes my secret diet!), play rough, and then go to sleepland.

• Work. I’ve been blessed with work that I actually enjoy, pays well, gives me flexi time, and, most importantly, is only a 10-minute tricycle ride from my house. It couldn’t get any better than this.

• Massage. I’ll let you in on a secret. Did you know that I actually couldn’t sleep without getting a full-body massage? Nope, I don’t have a hired masseur — I can’t afford one. My Bitter Half massages me full body every night! The ritual started when I was pregnant. You know how pregnant women make all sorts of kaartehan because they could surely get away with it. Unfortunately for my Bitter Half, it turned into an addiction — and the spoiler couldn’t escape the curse anymore!

•  Long baths. I love taking looooooong baths on weekends. I usually take an hour-long bath… enjoying the water, body wash, suds. This is one of my simple joys — and it doesn’t cost a fortune.

• Nilagang mani. Mani, mani… mani, mani. That’s how the neighborhood vendor peddles his goods. It was actually my paternal grandma, Nanay I called her (R.I.P.), who introduced me to eating them — they’re not actually nuts but legumes, which are boiled in water or steamed. Delicious!

• Cooking. Cooking for my family and friends, and seeing them enjoy and appreciate the food that I have cooked simply feel heavenly!

How about you folks? What are the six things that make you happy?

Rule 1. The Boss is always right.

Rule 2. If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

Rule 3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

Rule 4. PhD stands for "Pull Him Down." The more intelligent, more hardworking, and more committed is a person, the greater is the number of persons engaged in pulling that person down.

Rule 5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

Rule 6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

Rule 7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.

Rule 8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Rule 9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Rule 10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

Rule 11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Rule 12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Rule 13. Following the rules will not get the job done.

Rule 14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Rule 15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous."

Rule 16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

Rule 17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.

Rule 18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

Rule 19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

Rule 20. The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

Friend: “Hey, wifey is in labor. Gosh, I feel so helpless just standing in there watching her grimace in pain!”

Me: “Oh, of course you can do something.”

Friend: “What?”

Me: “Stimulate her nipples.”

Friend: “Oh c’mon, I’m serious, and I’m nervous. Don’t be such an a**!”

OF COURSE, I’M NOT AN A**.

When a woman is in labor, it is advised that her nipples be stimulated.

Stimulation of the nipples sends signals to the brain that induce the release of oxytocin — a hormone that then stimulates the uterus to contract, helping expel the fetus out of the womb.

(This is also the same mechanism that stimulates the uterus to contract when a woman breastfeeds her child [hudband even] after childbirth, hastening the return of the uterus to its pre-pregnant state.)

Oxytocin (Pitocin) is the same hormone/drug that is injected into a pregnant woman to induce labor and to hasten uterine contraction.

Ask your doctor about it.

Men, don’t just stand in there. Do something… this time you have a perfect excuse to do it.

Ladies, now, don’t you wish you were pregnant?

It’s a lazy Saturday morning. But I have to get out of bed, as I have promised my son, Kid Schumacher, that his dad and I would go to their school’s mission fair — you know, one of those fund-raising activities that schools never seem to run out of — and watch him dance to the theme of High School Musical.

“Mom, I’d like to have breakfast in bed,” this half-awake 8-year-old says to me, as he ALWAYS says on weekends.

Oh my, it’s 8:30 already. We have to be in school by 10. Dash to the kitchen I did.

Fried rice. Sausages. Eggs, sunny-side-up, well done.

Cafe mocha for my Bitter Half — 3-in-1, chocolate, and sugar. Ummm, smells heavenly.

And newspapers.

All aboard a classic wooden lap tray with a very-now Lightning McQueen placemat, courtesy of my racing-fanatic son.

It’s always like this on weekends. And it’s always nice. What a way to start the day. Nice, nice weekend mornings!

Oh, and it’s okay to be late… I think.

I was wondering how others could do it so seamlessly, effortlessly almost. With excitement, grace, fiery passion…

Did anybody teach them how? How to go step by step — slowly, carefully? Guiding them how to drop their inhibitions? How to throw caution to the wind? How to release the tension building up inside and then burst with ecstasy?

I’m ashamed to ask.

I just got to do it myself, on my own…

With courage I did it.

And, as they all say, the first time truly hurts.

But it was orgasmic, yeah…

             writing my very first BLOG.

             Welcome to my bittersweet life!